Do you put the rest of your plans on hold when you start a new relationship? It’s a common pattern that could be interfering with your happiness and ability to find love.
It’s natural to be excited about a new romance. You want to spend each day together, and you start dreaming about your future. Before you know it, you lose track of your own identity and neglect your family and friends.
Learn how to stay grounded in reality when you feel like you’re falling in love. Try these tips for staying true to yourself as you welcome a new partner into your life.
Steps to Take Yourself:
1. Love yourself. You’re less likely to lose yourself in a relationship if you already value who you are. Increase your self-awareness and self-esteem by living mindfully and making choices that align with your core values.
2. Continue socializing. Keep spending time with family and friends. Visit your parents and schedule standing coffee dates with your pals. Encourage your new love interest to do the same. Your relationship will be stronger if you avoid placing excessive demands on each other.
3. Pursue your interests. You can love each other even if you prefer different kinds of music and restaurants. Carry on with your hobbies and passion projects. Go kayaking while your significant other volunteers for a political campaign.
4. Concentrate at work. Your performance may suffer if you spend too much time texting or fantasizing about your future children. Plan your workday and complete your tasks.
5. Set individual goals. Ensure that your life has a purpose bigger than any single relationship. Think about your spiritual development and the legacy you want to create.
6. Maintain boundaries. Honor your own needs. Explain how you want to be treated and let others know the consequences for exceeding your limits.
7. Spend time alone. You’ll probably make wiser decisions about relationships if you can enjoy your own company. Stay home one evening a week. Enjoy some solo activities each weekend. Give yourself a few spa treatments or read a long novel.
8. Consider counseling. Childhood experiences and other factors may interfere with your ability to find the love you deserve. If you need more help, talk with a therapist who specializes in relationships.
Steps to Take with Your Significant Other:
1. Slow down. Resist the urge to spend every moment together after a promising first date. Get to know each other gradually. Put off making any major decisions until your relationship is on firmer ground.
2. Listen closely. Your date may be wonderful, but they have weaknesses and quirks just like the rest of humanity. Pay attention to the evidence. Discuss important issues like how you feel about parenting and managing money.
3. Expect conflict. New couples sometimes avoid any subjects that could undermine their infatuation. In reality, your relationship is more likely to thrive if you learn to work out your differences with kindness and respect.
4. Coordinate communications. How many phone calls a day are you comfortable with? Negotiate a schedule that makes you both feel connected without becoming overwhelmed.
5. Seek balance. Relationships are rarely completely equal. One partner may love the other more or have more influence. However, you can strive for reciprocity and mutual support. Divide chores and other responsibilities. Pool your strengths and appreciate the contributions that you both make to your life together.
Holding on to your individuality creates a stronger foundation for love and intimacy. You can be yourself while being part of a couple. Your life will be fuller, and your relationships will be more satisfying.