by Tom Morgan | Mar 17, 2021 | Relationships
Much has been said about how COVID-19 affects the health of older generations, but family relationships are a concern too. Many seniors feel cut off from one of their greatest joys in life, their grandchildren.
Since the end of March 2020, 69% of grandparents haven’t met their new grandchildren face to face. Another 76% haven’t hugged or touched any of their grandchildren. That’s according to a survey by the grandparenting organization Gransnet.
While sleep-over visits and hugging may be too risky for a while, there are other ways to stay in touch. Brush up on the modern rules for supporting healthy and safe relationships between grandparents and grandchildren.
Communication Tips for Modern Families:
1. Explain the facts. Your grandchildren probably miss you too, especially if they were used to seeing you frequently. Provide age appropriate information about why seniors have to take extra precautions.
2. Set boundaries. Family members may disagree about COVID-19 precautions. Coordinate boundaries with the parents.
3. Create a schedule. Routines help us to cope with uncertainty. Plan a weekly virtual gathering or a daily text with a riddle or a new vocabulary word.
4. Show empathy. Support each other through these difficult times. Maybe you can offer practical assistance or help your grandchild to put their feelings into words.
5. Explore resources. It may help to talk with other grandparents in similar situations. Join an online forum where you can discuss common challenges and discover reliable sources of information and guidance.
Activities You Can Still Share with your Grandchildren:
1. Make video calls. Chat on Zoom and Facetime. Quick tutorials can walk you through the basics or ask another family member for help setting up an account.
2. Write letters. Old school communications still work. Your grandchild will be excited to receive a letter or card addressed to them.
3. Share videos. Create lasting memories with videos. Record yourself describing a story from your family history. Ask your children to capture some moments from your grandchild’s day.
4. Send gifts. Presents can make staying at home more pleasant. Maybe your grandchild can use some educational items that will enrich their home learning. Maybe the whole family would appreciate a subscription with healthy ingredients for home cooked meals.
5. Celebrate milestones. What about holidays and birthdays? If it’s too risky to gather indoors, you may still be able to have a party online or outside with distancing and masks.
6. Give tours. Put together a virtual tour to show your grandchildren what you’re doing. Include footage of your summer vegetable garden and your indoor and outdoor Christmas decorations.
7. Watch movies. Apps like Netflix party are the closest thing to sitting on the same couch. Pick a film the family will enjoy and discuss it afterwards.
8. Play games. You can also play video games online. Ask your grandchildren to teach you about their favorite titles.
9. Read stories. When is the last time you read to your grandchild? Schedule an evening video call to share a passage from a book they love. Even if your grandchild is too young to understand the words, they can become more familiar with your voice. Older children can take turns reading to you.
10. Eat together. Family meals can be virtual too. Teach your grandchildren how to make macaroni and cheese or chocolate chip pancakes. Pretend you’re dining at the same table.
Talk with your doctor about your individual needs and keep up with local health and safety guidelines about family gatherings. The pandemic has changed our daily routines, but you can still shower your grandchildren with love and attention.
by Tom Morgan | Mar 17, 2021 | Confidence
Laziness is frustrating. There are things that you know you should be doing, but you simply don’t feel like doing them. Everyone has been in this situation more than once.
A lazy day isn’t an issue on occasion, but chronic laziness can cause a lot of short and long-term challenges in your life.
Learning to deal with laziness in an effective manner is an important tool in your life skills toolbox.
If laziness is negatively affecting you, try these techniques to curb it:
1. Start with the hardest task. Many people find that there’s actually just one task that’s preventing them from taking action. If you could just put that task in your rearview mirror, everything else would be a piece of cake. Try doing your most dreaded task first and watch your productivity rise!
2. Start with the easiest task. On the other hand, if you could just gain a little momentum, you might find yourself motivated to continue. Try doing the shortest or easiest task first and see what happens.
3. Reward yourself for taking action. A little reward can go a long way. Tell yourself that you can have a cup of coffee after you work for 30 minutes. Or, let yourself read a chapter from your favorite novel after putting in a couple of hours of work.
4. Get organized. A cluttered workspace increases the amount of resistance you feel. Whether it’s a messy desk, a dirty kitchen, or a bunch of toys in the yard that are standing in your way, spend some time tidying things up.
5. Force yourself to do the task you’re avoiding for just two minutes. Many tasks are easy to do, but it can be hard to get started. Force yourself to work for just two minutes and you might find that it’s easy to continue for much longer.
6. Get more sleep. Perhaps you’re just tired. More sleep is the answer.
7. Visualize the task already completed. Close your eyes and see yourself completing the task. Notice how wonderful you feel. Use that feeling as motivation to get busy.
8. Relax. The ultimate reason we don’t take action is this: We think about performing a task, and it doesn’t feel good. Notice where you feel uncomfortable when you think about doing that unpleasant task. Relax that area, breathe deeply, and the feeling will dissipate.
9. Think about something that gets you excited. What is something you love to do? Think about that for a while, and then quickly get started on the unpleasant task.
10. See yourself as someone that gets things done. If you see yourself as someone that struggles to complete your tasks, that’s how you’ll behave. Instead, convince yourself that you are someone that takes care of business. Validate this belief by noticing the many tasks you do.
11. Schedule breaks. When you have a break to look forward to, it’s easier to get to work. Promise yourself that you can do whatever you want for 20 minutes after you work for two hours.
Just because you feel like being lazy doesn’t mean you have to actually be lazy. Take control of the situation and get yourself to take meaningful action.
Everyone feels lazy from time to time, but successful people are able to move past this temporary emotional state and get themselves moving again.
Give yourself the occasional lazy day but avoid allowing yourself to be lazy on a regular basis. When you get to work and complete your tasks quickly, you can take more well-deserved time off to relax and do those things that are more important to you. Your life is waiting for you!
by Tom Morgan | Mar 16, 2021 | Confidence
Many people are poor at getting started. They make big plans but never take the first step. Others can get started but seem to bail out before they reach their goals. It’s quite maddening to put in a lot of work and then quit just before you reach success.
The most successful people are masters at finishing what they start. They’re like a bulldog with a bone. They’ll never give it up without a fight.
We all have a story of quitting that seems to haunt us. You can put a happy ending to these stories – and this behavior – by learning to finish what you start.
Try these techniques:
1. Develop the habit of being a finisher. This is most easily done by finishing all of the little things you start. Complete every little task you start.
● Wash ALL of the dishes.
● Fold ALL of the clothes.
● Finish the chapter you start reading.
● Be obsessed with driving through to the end.
2. Set reasonable time estimates. We often greatly underestimate how long something will take. When something takes longer than we think it should, we become discouraged and quit the task. Instead of assuming everything will go perfectly, assume there will be challenges and plan accordingly.
3. Release yourself from the need to be perfect. Perfection is a burden that gets in the way of progress. It takes too much time and destroys your enthusiasm. You can still do something well without taking the time or energy to try to make it perfect.
● Remember the adage, “Better done than perfect!”
4. Keep the benefits of finishing in mind. List the benefits of getting this task done. What will it do for you? How will you feel? Focus on the positive, and you’ll be much more motivated to complete it.
● This is much more effective than focusing on how much you don’t want to do it, or focusing on how miserable the experience will be.
● Keep the end in mind.
5. Reward yourself for completion. Plan on giving yourself a reward when it’s done.
● Buy yourself a new car when you finally land that new job.
● Go out for coffee when your taxes are complete.
● Meet a friend for dinner when your work is finally done.
6. Remember the times that you’ve quit in the past. We’ve all given up too soon and later regretted it. Remember those times. Remember how much it bothers you now that you quit. No one wants to relive that feeling. Quitting something meaningful should be something that no one does more than once.
7. Remember the times that you’ve completed a big project in the past. How did this make you feel? Really good, right? Hold on to that feeling and feel more of it, more often, by completing things, even if they’re just small tasks.
8. Keep track of your progress. Make note of the progress you make. Be proud of your progress and use it as fuel to keep pushing forward.
9. Keep away the negative thoughts. Giving up is the result of negative thinking. Notice when your thoughts are counterproductive and immediately switch your thoughts to something more positive.
● It’s hard to believe, but you can choose to think about anything you want. Choose wisely.
10. Be okay with discomfort. Being uncomfortable doesn’t have to derail your progress. Accept that you’re uncomfortable and keep on going.
● The more you give in to discomfort, the less you’ll achieve.
If you want to be successful, it’s crucial to learn to finish what you start. This isn’t a skill that most of us were taught. We like things that are easy and comfortable, but if you learn to finish what you start, your life can easily become more comfortable for you!
You know people that never seem to complete anything. You also know people that finish what they start. Take a long look at their lives. Whom do you want to be like?
by Tom Morgan | Mar 16, 2021 | Relationships
You might be in love, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you should get married. It’s all fun and games for the first couple of years in most relationships, but all of that changes with time. Eventually, the infatuation fades away and reality sets in.
Is his cute smile worth living in Nebraska when you dream of living in Chicago? Does her sense of humor make her $140,000 of student loan debt worth it?
There’s a lot more to consider than just how enjoyable it is to be around someone right now. Your life will change. Is this the right person for the long haul?
A long talk before marriage can prevent challenges down the road and help encourage an eventual transformation from infatuation to a deeper love.
Discuss these issues with your significant other before marriage:
1. Where will you live? City or country? Condo or house? In the same town as your mother-in-law or far, far away. You spend most of your time in and around your home.
● Where you live has a huge impact on your life. Are you both on the same page? The only way to know for certain is to talk about it.
2. Who will clean what? What is the division of household labor? Will the man of the house do the repairs, mow the grass, change the oil in the cars, and pick up the dog poop? Who cooks? Who cleans? Is everything 50-50? There’s no right or wrong answer, but it helps if you both agree.
3. How much debt do you each have? Financial issues are the most common marriage challenge. How much debt do you each have? How willing are you to deal with your future spouse’s debt? How willing are they to deal with yours? Are you both going to be responsible for your own debt? What’s the plan?
4. Children. Do you both want children? If so, how many? If your answers aren’t in the same ballpark, you might have huge challenges ahead. Never assume that your partner will change their mind to accommodate you in the future. It’s a dangerous game to play.
5. Friends. Will you be joined at the hip with your spouse, or will you both be free to spend time with your separate friends? Some people love having time alone. Others don’t trust their spouse to be out with the boys/girls without their presence.
6. Spending. Some people like to save. Others love to spend. It can be difficult for people that don’t agree on this matter to get along in the long term. Make a plan that works for both of you.
7. Bank accounts. Separate? Joint? A joint account to pay the bills, but also an individual account for each? Who is going to pay for what? Will it be 50-50? Or will the bigger earner pay a greater percentage of the bills?
8. Religion. Some people aren’t interested in going to church every week. Others are serious about their participation in church services. There might be different religions to consider, too. Will you go to separate churches? Will one of you go to church while the other prefers to stay home?
9. Sex. It all comes down to a question of style and frequency. In most marriages, the issue is more likely to be frequency. Do you have similar sexual appetites?
10. Neatness. It’s very challenging for a very neat person to live with a messy person. For best results, work out this issue before marriage so there are no surprises.
Marriage can be a wonderful thing! It can be a nightmare, too. It’s important to do everything you can to ensure that you’re capable of making each other happy for many years to come. Discuss these important issues before deciding to tie the knot.
by Tom Morgan | Mar 15, 2021 | Confidence
When we leave school, college, or university, often we have no idea what we really want. We choose a job or career based on what our parents, friends, or career advisors say.
Then, ten years on, we find ourselves in a mediocre situation, with a growing sense of disappointment and dissatisfaction about our work and our place in it. Is it too late to change direction and do something completely new or different?
Of course not!
Life is changing rapidly and dramatically. New careers, ideas, and opportunities are popping up all the time. Things we would never have thought possible just a few years ago have become household favorites virtually overnight.
Who would have thought it was possible for the biggest taxi company in the world to own no taxis? Who would have thought that the biggest online retailer doesn’t have a single product of their own to sell? Who would have thought a whole new industry could be born simply from fast-food delivery?
What Do You Want?
If you want to change direction, at any age, the most important thing is to discover is what you really want out of life.
● What interests you?
● What fascinates you?
● What do you feel passionate about?
Make a list on each of these important issues and see where they overlap or have commonality. Hidden in there somewhere are the basic elements of a complete change of direction for you.
When you really dig into your lists, it’s possible to create a basic plan of careers, jobs, and opportunities to explore that can lead you to a life of fulfilment and happiness.
If you pursue that path as long as it keeps you happy and fulfilled, you’ll never look back. However, there might well come a day when life changes and/or you change, and it might be time to change direction again. It happens all the time in this rapidly developing world.
Exploring a New Career
Once you’ve gone through your lists and found some careers that will fulfil your passions and interests, you’ll want to consider other aspects of them, too.
Ask yourself these questions:
1. Will it make me enough money? You’ll want to consider how you’ll monetize your interest and what pursuing that aspect will entail for you. Do you want to get a new job in this field? Start your own business?
● With the advent of social media and internet marketing, it’s possible to reach out to thousands of potential customers or clients all over the world without ever leaving home.
● The potential of making money is certainly there, but you might need to retrain and learn some new skills to reach out and get it.
2. What will others think? This is an age-old question that stops many people from making changes that could change their life for the better, forever. However, keep in mind that all the time that you’re worried about what other people think, say, or do, you’ll never be free.
● Consider the maxim, “Whatever other people think of me is none of my business.”
● We have no way to influence what others think of us other than by setting a good example. Let them think whatever they want while you go out and get things done! Never let those who think it can’t be done interrupt those who are already out there doing it.
3. What am I willing to give up in order to create something really incredible? Many times, you’ll find that preparing for a new career encroaches on your current life. If this is the case, weigh the costs of time, money, and effort against your current life to help determine which aspect is more important to you.
● Would you sell your car to fund a program where you could learn new skills and explore new ideas?
● Would you give up your evenings or your social life to reinvest that time in educating yourself in a completely different career or opportunity?
● Are you willing to work weekends and evenings to study new concepts, ideas, or strategies?
4. Will I be good enough to make it work? The very fact that you’re reading this says that you’re searching for change, reassurance about change, and that something is pulling you forward towards change.
● You already considered that there is more to your life than that which you are currently experiencing, and you want to know what it is and get fully engaged with it, right?
● Mindset is vitally important. Let your motivation carry you forward. As you take action, a positive mindset will help you overcome any obstacles that may arise.
Your life is entirely under your control and what you do with it is your decision alone. Get busy, make some decisions and take action, and keep moving forward with your ideas and intentions.
The answers may not come overnight, but as long as you pursue what interests you, fascinates you, and makes you happy, you will find the answers that you seek.
Beware of any criticism of your dreams and ideas from anyone you wouldn’t go to for sound advice. After all, opinions are ten a penny. Everyone has them, but opinions are not going to help or support you.
Be relentless in your pursuit of happiness and fulfilment. Go at it like your whole life depends on it. Because it does.
